This year, Kelly Clarkson larded her performance with quavers and grace notes until the poor “Star-Spangled Banner” sagged under their weight like Charlie Brown’s forlorn Christmas tree. And as the anthem went, so went the commercials.

Everything was piled on way too high. More rock bands and supermodels. Bigger explosions. Ridiculous “can you top-this” scenarios. The Bud Light “Weego” dog, for example. Not only was the whole idea a complete rip-off of the old Stroh’s “Alex” campaign, it got progressively more ludicrous (and less funny). Kudos, at least, for the shout-out for rescued dogs, a highly worthwhile cause.

A couple of clients revisited last year’s themes. Volkswagen shoehorned a “Star Wars” reference into their overweight-dog premise: a spot which would have been far more effective if it had just stayed short, simple and stuck with the aliens in the Mos Eisley cantina arguing about last year’s spot.

Chrysler’s continuation worked far better. Once again, the automaker raised the banner for its home city with a gritty pep talk that may well have launched the Clint Eastwood for President campaign. If politicians from both parties really want to reach hard-pressed voters, they’d do well to junk the negative garbage and study this one closely.

I was surprised at how well Honda’s “Ferris Bueller” spot worked – a guilty little pleasure that, unlike so many others, worked even better in its full-length internet version. And in a Super Bowl dominated by apocalyptic movie promos and commercials, I liked the simple premise of Chevy’s Silverado survivor spot (“Dave drove a Ford”). It was a nice way to work in an actual product benefit with humor.

Another guilty pleasure: the Met Life cartoon characters. With Scooby, Richie and Optimus Prime, they hit boomers and Generation X squarely on target.

At the bottom of the scale was GoDaddy.com. It’s amazing that they can get prominent female spokespeople – we’re talking to you, Danica – to aid and abet their rampant chauvinism. But GoDaddy was actually beaten to the basement by the TaxACT.com spot with the kid urinating in the swimming pool. Three million bucks of the client’s money for that? Hey guys, way to give our profession – and your client – a black eye at the same time.

What have we learned? Ferris still rules, Chrysler still hits the gut and next year, all spots should be restricted to 30 seconds. The compulsion to spend tons of money on movie-like productions isn’t serving clients or agencies well at all.

At next year’s Super Bowl, I expect to see two things. Better spots. And the Ravens.

Inside Facebook

On a recently released page on Facebook’s help site, users can read about the way this new ad unit will display in their Feed. These featured stories will be denoted in users’ News Feeds by the word “Featured” on the bottom right hand side of the post. It is important to note that these Featured Stories are part of the Sponsored Stories ad unit and will only be shown to users who currently like the Page buying the ad unit. This means your news feed is safe from unsolicited ads, for the moment.

This ad unit is being rolled out slowly and users will only be exposed to one featured story in their News Feed a day.

Have you seen a featured story yet? Do you think it will affect your Facebook usage?

Wren’s most famous design is St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, whose dome vies with the towers of Parliament as the city’s most recognizable structure. When Wren died, his body was placed in a crypt there. A nearby plaque states, “Reader, if you seek his monument, look around you.”

As I looked around our family room, I saw my daughter’s iPod, sitting on the table next to my MacBook laptop. My wife was watching a TV show on her iPad. Both she and our older son have smartphones that use systems based largely on the iPhone.

I didn’t have to seek Steve Jobs’ monument. It was all around me.

One of the most prescient quotes I heard on Jobs’ passing was someone who said, “He knew what people wanted before they did.” Steve Jobs’ innovations weren’t as much about technology as the way we use technology. It started with the original user-friendly Mac operating systems – which forced PC programmers to respond by developing Windows. It continued through downloading music or an app to find the closest Chinese restaurant.

Quite simply, Steve Jobs understood how many things the average person could accomplish with technology if it was made easy to use. And he delivered that technology in stylish packages that said “smart” simply with their elegant design.

All of which is a lesson to us in marketing and advertising. In order to succeed, we must do what Steve Jobs did: Focus on how consumers use our products and services, both in product design and in advertising. Does this service save me time? Does this product save me money? How do I use it in concert with my smartphone, my computer, my social network?

If the product or service fits – and the advertising clearly demonstrates how it fits – we will succeed. And we will find our audience. Because in the end, it’s all about the consumer. It’s all about what benefits we can offer.

Steve Jobs always remembered that. Which is why we’ll never forget him.

Did you make me feel special? Did you offer me insider privileges if I “Like” you on Facebook? Am I on your e-mail list for discounts – especially if we’ve done business before? Even snail-mail and print coupons can work if I have a reason to consider you.

How about TV commercials? Have you built a strong image of your brand so I know what you stand for? Is there a central idea that’s reinforced by all of your spots? Do the production values make you look cheap – or credible? Especially compared to your bigger competitors?

Then there’s radio; that rare chance to hit me with your message while I’m out and about. But since I’m probably driving, make sure your spot cuts through the ambient noise. The writing should be crisp and engaging. It should convey your unique personality. And wherever you can, harness the power of the medium. Paint a vivid picture in my mind, rich in music, sound effects and stereo.

Did you catch my attention with a Web banner? That’s another great place to make an offer, if you’ve done the research, and know the sites I’m likely to visit.

Oh, and print isn’t dead yet, either. Some people – some very affluent and well-educated people – still read. Maybe I’m one of them. Have you talked to me in the right newspapers or magazines?

Is there a PR effort to extend your reach beyond paid media? Have you hired my neighbor, rolled out a new product or supported a worthwhile cause in my community? If so, do I know about it?

Modern marketing demands that you seize every opportunity to make sure that I’ve seen or heard your message as close to now as possible. Because as a consumer, I live in the now: the breaking news, Twitter-feed, what-have-you-done for-me-lately world. And if you haven’t prepared me for this crucial moment – when I decide whether I buy from you or someone else– you’ll lose the sale.

I’m deciding right now. When was the last time you gave me a reason to choose you?

Don’t get me wrong: I want the Preakness to succeed. Its value to Baltimore – especially in this battered economy – is inestimable. But while shouting their success to the housetops, the racing folks are missing a much bigger point.

For Maryland’s racing industry, the 136^th Preakness will be New Year’s Eve. On one day (and one day only) a huge crowd will gather. A large portion of it will end up hopelessly hung over. And on the bleary morning after, virtually no one will return to a horse race until Preakness #137, same place, same kegs.

Because other than following some Photoshopped centaur and getting pickled in the infield, what reason has Maryland racing ever given me, my family, or anyone else to visit the track at any other time of the year?

You can blame the politicians, the racing nabobs or anyone else you want, but one simple fact remains: for years, nobody has made a sustained, noticeable effort to market Maryland racing.
Recently, there have been fits and starts at web campaigns. Before that, Maryland hitched on to the National Thoroughbred Racing Association’s “Go Baby Go” TV spots. But any local mention was only a five-second afterthought. And the NTRA commercials didn’t have the flair and charm of Pimlico’s efforts in the 80s and 90s, which featured whimsical radio spots and a consistent presence in local media.

Maryland racing desperately needs a locally grown multimedia campaign: an integrated TV, radio and print effort, coordinated with a strong PR and social media push. It should provide tangible incentives for me to go to the track – and, quite possibly, educate me a bit on the nuances and terminology of the sport.

History strongly suggests that we won’t see such a campaign soon. And that’s a shame. A 2009 press release issued by the governor’s office states: “Horse breeding and horse racing have an economic impact … that more than triples all other sports combined, and comprised 78 percent of the total estimated annual sports impact.”

A jewel that valuable deserves better than to be ignored the other 364 days of the year.

We asked a few MGH creatives to select their favorite and least favorite spots. They didn’t hold back.

John Patterson, EVP, Creative Director

Best:  Daimler Chrysler, “Eminem Detroit”

You could argue that the best Super Bowl commercial last night was the one that made you cringe the least. Really, someone should report most of these advertisers to the SPCA for cruelly forcing innocent animals to participate in commercials utterly lacking in ideas or even logic. Dogs serving beer and chimps driving cars were both funny once upon a time. But not one millionth upon a time.

In this context, I choose Chrysler’s spot selling both the luxury Chrysler 200 and the city of Detroit.  To me, it’s the best spot from last night because first, it has a strong idea, and second, it has an idea that doesn’t include a dog.

The copywriting is poetry:  “What does a town that’s been to hell and back know about the finer things in life?”  the voiceover asks.  “It’s the hottest fires that make the hardest steel.”

With Eminem as its spokesman, Chrysler believably gives the finger to pre-conceived notions of what Detroit is, and isn’t, capable of.  And it’s all wrapped up with a brilliant, attitude-laden themeline:  “Imported from Detroit.”

Worst:  Best Buy, “Justin Bieber/Ozzy Osburne”

If aliens were picking up the broadcast transmission from last night’s Super Bowl, they would surely declare the planet Earth to be devoid of intelligent life.

This new batch of spots was noticeably lacking in anything remotely differentiating, and managed to lower the lowest common denominator to new depths.

It’s almost as if the creative teams responsible for this work were charged with making caricatures of Super Bowl spots:  Guys falling down, talking babies, empowered canines, etc. Is this the best we can do?  No wonder China is quietly taking over the world.  We’re too busy making commercials that were already made in 1998.

Yet, my top pick for the worst spot isn’t a concept you’ve seen before. It’s a completely original mess of a commercial. It seems Best Buy paid a fortune to Justin Bieber and Ozzy Osbourne, then pieced together some words I can’t really call a script and rolled camera. There might have been an idea in the fact that Ozzy is old technology and Justin is new, but this commercial just gets in the way of itself.

I never thought I’d write the words, “A waste of Justin Bieber’s talent.” But now I have.

Lauren Hoffman, Copywriter

Best: Volkswagen “The Force”

Like most of Interwebs last week (who had already seen this commercial), I loved Volkwagen’s “The Force” commercial. It was touching and sweet with the Dad helping his son believe the force was with him, funny with the pint-sized Darth Vader trying so hard to manipulate the dog and babydoll, and not overly in your face with car features that most of us are not surprised cars have anymore –like a remote starter. (I could put one in my 2006 Sentra if I wanted to). However brief, it did showcase the new Passat nicely, and it used John Williams’ “The Imperial March,” which like bacon, makes everything better.

Worst: Go Daddy.com “The Contract”

They’re STILL making these commercials? Seriously? The fact that Go Daddy even advertises in the Super Bowl is a mystery to me, because anyone who is buying URLs already uses Go Daddy. Go Daddy has turned into one of those advertisers that wastes advertising money, just to make a “funny” ad that can run during the Super Bowl. Also, not to “go here,” but I am anyway, the ads are kind of demeaning, and pretty Hooters-esque. When you go to Go Daddy’s website and watch the rest of the video, I really doubt this way too “racy” for TV, but really, they probably wanted to spare us more of Jillian’s and Danica’s atrocious “acting.” In addition, Go Daddy is actually running a special if you watch the extended, too-risque-for-TV version ($7.49 instead of $11.99), which the Super Bowl commercial DOESN’T MENTION.

Dave Wassell, SVP, Associate Creative Director

The Super Bowl ad race, once ruled by beverage companies, was completely owned by the automobile this year. Volskwagon, Audi and Chrysler all came to the party with smart, well-crafted work. Even the “auto related” work for CarMax, Bridgestone and Cars.com put a smile on my guacamole-stained face. Back to the previously mentioned beverage companies…what happened? PepsiMAX, Coke, Stella, Bud Light? All were less than memorable. Although, I did kind of dig the Bud Light “Kitchen Make-over” spot.

That being said, my choices for best and worst spots from Super Bowl XLV are:

Best: Groupon “Tibet”

I paid the exorbitant ticket price for the Tibetan Freedom Festival a few years back, so I feel as though I can now, in good faith, make this call. I’m a sucker for a good misdirect, and this was the granddaddy of them all – on the grandest stage of all. It took balls to enter the ad race with this spot. While I won’t be buying a Chrysler 200 anytime soon, I certainly will be checking out Groupon.

Worst: There were definitely a few spots that didn’t live up to their shining moment. However, until I actually have a Super Bowl spot under my belt, I won’t be pointing any fingers. I never did appreciate non-musician music critics ripping on any of my favorite budding indie rock artists.

While I do applaud Doritos for letting consumers provide Super Bowl ad ideas, I think it’s time they put the concepting back into the hands of the pros.

Daron Fisher, Senior Copywriter

Best: Coca-Cola “Border”

This spot is more than just a charming story. It reinforces Coca-Cola’s message that they’ve sustained for generations. The idea of sharing a Coke and a smile is something much bigger than a “unique selling proposition” – it’s part of our psyche. It’s a great example of how we can fall in love with a brand.

Worst: Pepsi Max “Love Hurts”

This spot reminded me of the obnoxious kid in school constantly struggling for attention. It used over-the-top, trite humor to say nothing at all. It made Pepsi look like a shallow brand trying way too hard to be cool. And it made me appreciate Coca-Cola even more.

Dave Spivey, Senior Copywriter

Best: Volkswagon “The Force”

Perfect performances, deftly understated by all three actors. Nicely shot; excellent pacing, blended with actual shots of the product (the idea is to sell Passats, after all). A rare note of warmth and charm in an otherwise bleak night –replayed literally millions of times.

Worst: Anything Pepsi

Did we really need a can-to-the-crotch joke? More sex-obsessed, doofus male stereotypes? Bad slapstick, painfully obvious gags – a major disappointment from a client that usually shines.

Tied for second: Double-entendres. They’re old and intellectually lazy. Who wants to see Doritos licked off of pants? Cooper’s “Cram It” leered as badly as the warmed-over GoDaddy schtick. And Teleflora’s “rack” gag was based on a reference nobody outside of audio production would get.

What’s your pick for best and worst Super Bowl commercial?

If you’re reading this, you have my congratulations. In the most challenging economic environment for luxury retail in 50 years, you survived. Maybe thrived. You probably watched with glee as some of your competitors went belly-up. You’re still in business — feeling pretty good about yourself.

But will you be in business five years from now? Don’t be too sure. 

There are tens of thousands of retail jewelers in the United States. And it’s nearly impossible to tell them apart. In my almost 30 years of marketing, I have never seen a more “me-too” industry than retail jewelers. 

Does this sound familiar? 

“We’re A.B. Cee Jewelers. Family owned and operated for five generations. Founded by our great grandfather 80 years ago. We carry the finest selection and provide the best customer service at the area’s most competitive prices.” 

Really? Do today’s consumers care how old you are? Maybe your loyal customers do, but they’re dying off. (Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true.) 

Here’s my challenge for 2011. Be the customer and define yourself from their point of view. Put a stake in the ground. Differentiate or die. Stand for something. Anything. As long as it’s not what every other jeweler stands for. Find out why your “never customers” have never shopped you, and why your loyal customers are so loyal. Find that intersection and exploit it. Adjust your operation and your marketing accordingly. 

While you’re at it, ignore your competition. Completely. Most of your competitors don’t know what they’re doing. Copying them is business suicide. There’s only one group you should be learning from: the customer. 

Also, don’t go overboard with co-op. While it’s important to showcase the great brands you carry, there’s nothing differentiating about co-op advertising. The vendor pays you 50 percent but keeps 90 percent of the ad space. And how many of the people who are swayed by that beautiful product shot wind up at your rivals’ stores? The main job of your marketing must be to create preference and brand your store. 

Here’s a surprise — people who are interested in a particular product go to the Internet, read about it, and find the closest dealer. Can consumers find you and the products you carry easily on the Internet? 

So now that the holiday rush is over and you’re back from vacation, it’s time to get to work. Take a good hard look at your business. How are you perceived? What do you stand for? Now’s the time to differentiate and leap ahead of all your competitors.

But, recently marketers have begun started shifting their focus to the Baby Boomer generation, those born from  1946-1964.

According to a recent article in USA Today, the boomers are accumulating wealth with their spending, and growing at a pace that’s leaving the younger generations in the dust. And, marketers are being encouraged to  celebrate this generation because Boomers are about to get a lot richer.

Bruce Horovitz of USA Today states, “People 50 and older will inherit an estimated $14 trillion to $20 trillion during the next 20 years.”

Moreover, not only is the stereotype of older consumers being averse to new things not true, but Boomers are actually among the biggest buyers of new cars and technology.

According to  the Consumer Expenditure Survey from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, consumers 50 and older spent $87 billion on cars compared with the $70 billion by those under age 50. They are found to not only buy more new cars, but also spend more on the cars, as well as buy cars for their children and grandkids.

The article also pointed out that by 2030, there will be twice as many people over the age of 65 as there are now – and, marketers need to to start strategizing on how to make their products relevant to a 50+ consumer.

According to Horovitz, here are some tips on how marketers can court the Boomers:

- Make them feel good about their age

- Make them feel hip (Lincoln used 48-year-old “Mad Men” star John Slattery to help pitch the Lincoln MKX crossover SUV)

- Make them feel smart

- Make them feel sexy (Maidenform rolled out a push-up bra aimed at Woman 35-54)

- Make them feel hungry

- Make them feel techie (boomers are found to spend more on tech than any other group)

Bottom line: Baby Boomers are not to be ignored!

I had one of those life-changing epiphanies this week.

I realized that I am responsible for the endless, mind-numbing, aggravating avalanche of political advertising we’ve all endured this election cycle. And it’s not because I’m president of an ad agency. We don’t even do political ads.

No, it’s because I’ve contributed to a number of political campaigns. I honestly believed I was doing the right thing. Participating in democracy and all that. Being a good example for my daughters.

But I was wrong. And I’m notifying all the campaign fundraisers to take me off their e-mail lists. I will no longer accept phone calls from Senator X and Congressman Y (even though it always made me feel temporarily influential when they called).

You see, being in the ad business, I’ve noticed that it’s nearly impossible to get my clients any airtime as elections approach. And even if we can get airtime, the prices are ridiculous. And then our commercials get bumped.

Why does this matter? Because we sell stuff. And every time we sell stuff, a company makes money. And when companies make money, companies can create jobs and pay dividends. (And sometimes throw lavish parties with million-dollar ice sculptures, but we can’t help that.)

The point is, advertising stimulates the economy. But political advertising stimulates only the TV stations.

Consider this. Nearly 100 percent of all TV commercial time leading up to an election is bought by candidates, PACs and the feuding sides of a particular issue.

Gov. Martin O’Malley and former Gov Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. spent more than $8 million on TV in just six weeks. Nationally, more than $8 billion will be spent on TV ads this election year. Believe it or not, some people in other states have to endure even more political ads than we do. Is that even possible? They must be eliminating the TV shows altogether and just running the ads.

Really, do we need to hear five anti-slots ads and five pro-slots ads in 10 minutes? Or six spots that say the Republican’s the devil and seven which call him a saint?

Does all this advertising really change anyone’s mind? Do you know someone who’s admitted to being influenced by this onslaught? But apparently the ads work, or our brilliant candidates and their consultants wouldn’t waste our contributions — right?

I hate to admit it, but I miss my daily dose of “Jack Says Yes,” and the epic daily battle between “The Empire Carpet Guy” and his archrival “Luna” (is that the name of the lady in commercials or just the company name?). I’m totally lost when I can’t spend time with my extended “family” — Bob Bell, Mr. Saiontz and Mr. Kirk, Melanie Russell and Crystal Koons.

That’s why today, I’m throwing down the gauntlet (whatever a gauntlet is) and calling for a nationwide boycott of political campaign donations.

Keeping the commercial airwaves clear for commercial advertising will ensure a stronger economy, create jobs and — perhaps most importantly — make the lives of our media buyers significantly easier.

Jon Stewart, are you listening? There’s still time to include this crusade in your “Rally to Restore Sanity.”

Instead of giving money to political candidates, I suggest you donate to the major American corporation of your choice. Or even a small business. Or even me. I run a business. I am sure I can put your money to good use — on behalf of the American people, of course.

This is a call to arms, my friends. Join me as we launch our crusade to give our nation’s airwaves back to the people we trust.

Advertising agencies.

Take it from a creative director, Governor Ehrlich. You should have been more creative.

We all know there’s no shortage of political campaign commercials on television right now. What’s lacking is creativity.

Both Ehrlich and Governor Martin O’Malley are using rather predictable, formulaic approaches to their advertising. Together, they’ve spent more than $8 million in six weeks on some truly forgettable messages.

Gauzy testimonials, black-and-white attack ads, exaggeration of minor or long-ago votes: This is the grist of nearly every political commercial. And this is why so many of these spots look the same to viewers. Candidates find comfort in doing what has been done before. They are afraid to deviate from what seems “safe,” lest they risk the election.

But doing what seems “safe” can often be the riskiest strategy, particularly for an underdog like Ehrlich, who has raised far less money than O’Malley. He has missed an opportunity to reach out beyond his base with some truly surprising and creative advertising.

Whenever we have clients with a modest budget, we encourage them to take more creative risk than they might be comfortable with. Say something surprising. Act differently than people expect. Make a commercial that doesn’t look like everyone else’s commercial. That is our mantra for retail stores, products and services.  And it’s a lesson political candidates should heed, as well.

You can make up for a lack of money with an abundance of ideas.

Being in the apparent lead, O’Malley may have been able to rely on advertising that blended in. Ehrlich shouldn’t have. He had a chance to endear himself to a wider audience, to win over those on the fence about his opponent.

Think it doesn’t work in politics? Look at the late Paul Wellstone’s now-famous political ads from 1990. Wellstone, a college professor, was being outspent by a 7-to-1 margin in his race for the U.S. Senate. But he created a series of humorous-yet-biting commercials that managed to put down his opponent, Rudy Boschowitz, while leaving a smile on the faces of viewers. Here’s one of them.

Wellstone proved it was possible to be negative and positive at the same time. Brilliant.

This kind of strategy was custom-made for a guy like Ehrlich, who is described as a nice, “regular guy” by even some of his opponents. In fact, Ehrlich acknowledged it himself in this article recently: “I’m a lot friendlier.  That’s all I can say.”

So where was that in his advertising? Why did it mostly reflect such an angry tone? It’s understandable that the former governor would try to tap into a possible national backlash against Democratic incumbents with spots like this:

But this spot doesn’t broaden the former governor’s appeal. If you agree with him, you nod your head. If you don’t, you don’t.

However, if Ehrlich had followed what has become known as the “Wellstone Way,” he could have taken a path that allowed him to criticize his opponent while charming his opponent’s supporters.

He didn’t.

I’m not going to blame advertising alone for Governor Ehrlich’s trailing numbers. And he may, in fact, prevail on November 2. But the truth is, voters of both parties would have been receptive to a more original, more endearing approach. With so many people claiming to hate political ads, they would welcome thinking that is surprising and new.

Because a politician who isn’t afraid to put himself out there is a politician voters will like and trust.